Folderol & Fanaticism
Alt Faily

Alt Faily is now one of my dedicated 5 followers. (My mother always said quality, not quantity. That’s what I tell myself when I’m crying myself to sleep). Follow them. Find out everything that’s actually fun to do in Norfolk, not the stuff that is super lame but you’re supposed to enjoy ironically. 

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Side Note: Why would you enjoy something you hate, ironically? Riddle me that Hipsters. Why not just like what you actually like. IF YOU LIKE BRITNEY SPEARS, DON’T BE AFRAID TO SHOW IT. Not all indie bands are good. In fact… most aren’t. That’s why they are indie bands.

Is that the best argument you have, Pat Robertson?

Is that the best argument you have, Pat Robertson?

World’s Most Disappointing Commercials: Summer’s Eve

With the superfluous advertising, incessant blogging, and extensive PR of my generation, I have seen my fair share of irritating ad campaigns. While I may hate the campaign, the product is usually worth it. HOWEVER, there are a handful of disappointments and I would like to point out the ones from my generation that upset me the most.

Today’s irritating commercial: 

Hail to the V, the craddle of life campaign. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, watch this video, then read on:

http://youtu.be/MxW_ZCd64tg

Ok, so when this starts, I have no idea what it’s advertising. The first line claims this product is the cradle of life. I’m thinking “yeah, the cradle of life?” so maybe it’s a commercial for water? I mean the H2O PR people have gotten pretty presumptuous about their product, so why not claim it’s the cradle of life.

Then, the unknown product is described as the center of civilization. Ok still maybe water? But wow, really? The center of civilization? That’s not true where I come from. Our civilization center is a marble mult-purpose building, no where near running water, but maybe it’s an over generalization.

"Men have fought for it, even died for it." Ok what CAN this mysterious product be? Maybe it’s a preview for some awesome time traveling television show, where some bad ass character does something bad assy.

Ok, I’m on the edge of my seat commercial people!!! What is this product????

…Summer’s Eve Va-jay-jay wash.

Really? Men have fought for my whispering eye so I need to wash it with Summer’s Eve special wash? Ok. I’ll bite. But now you’re setting me up for greater disappointment when I go out in search of such a gallant knight who’s fighting for my captain fuzzy. Summer’s Eve, you are setting me up for failure. If all women think their vaginas are so fantastic, they will never settle for just any procreation appendage. They will all be in search of the perfect penis. And our species will die out. Thanks Summer’s Eve. You’ve officially set Armageddon into motion.

That’s somewhat presumptuous.

That’s somewhat presumptuous.

Epic pickup line.

Epic pickup line.

So let me get this straight….
you kissed a girl, liked it, died, spent some time in purgatory and then went to hell?
Or did God make you bypass the dying and purgatory part because he was so infuriated you kissed a girl? And if so… does that mean Katy Perry is currently in hell? 
I think this marquee is supposed to inspire me to be a Christian, but I’m really just confused, not compelled to run out and join my local church.

So let me get this straight….

you kissed a girl, liked it, died, spent some time in purgatory and then went to hell?

Or did God make you bypass the dying and purgatory part because he was so infuriated you kissed a girl? And if so… does that mean Katy Perry is currently in hell? 

I think this marquee is supposed to inspire me to be a Christian, but I’m really just confused, not compelled to run out and join my local church.

And the Oscar goes to….

Adorable Puppy for Faking His Own Death

I don’t need to see the new Planet of the Apes…

… I know how it ends.

The apes capture Marky Mark.

Perfection. Definitely one of my favorite actors.

Perfection. Definitely one of my favorite actors.

Mazel Tov, Andy Cohen.

Did anyone watch the Real Housewives of New York reunion last night?? Mr. Bravo TV needs to give himself a mazel this week.

I. Love. You. Andy. Cohen.

Best host ever.

Oh and p.s., thank you for having Neil Patrick Harris on Watch What Happens, Live. Perfect way to end the night.